Roamin's Accident & Recovery Fund
This one is sooo painful to post 💔
I was in a terrible car accident on my way to Buffalo last week. I was scheduled to vend my friend Devin’s memorial benefit, Love Will Carry us Through, when suddenly there was a large piece of metal in the middle of my highway lane. Because there was a car to my left & I was quickly approaching it, my only choice was to use the right shoulder to try to go around it. However, I was going 68mph so when I did that my trailer started to sway back & forth. I tried to course correct but my truck was thrown off balance. I did a 360 in the middle of the highway, my trailer fell on its side & then my truck flipped 4 times across the entire highway as reported by a witness. I landed on the left side of the shoulder right side up & jumped out of my truck as quickly as I could. I was in total shock because it felt like my dreams had just gotten crushed in an instant but miraculously I was physically unharmed! I walked away with only a few abrasions & bruising on my left hand, wrist & legs.
I was conscious throughout the entire accident. It all happened so fast yet while I was flipping, time seemed to slow down. I was narrating it in my head while it was happening. I said, “omg I’m losing control, omg I’m getting in an accident, omg it’s a really bad accident!!” In a way, I was embracing what was happening because it was so far out of my control that I was simply experiencing what was happening. I held onto the steering wheel so tight that all my muscles were clenched & I didn’t move an inch. I was frozen in time waiting for it to be over.
I know for a fact that Devin was my guardian angel that day. He kept me safe & made sure that I lived to tell this tale. I don’t think he did it alone either. I keep Devin & Tucker’s prayer cards above me & every time I drive the trailer, I pray to Archangel Michael for protection on my journey & Archangel Raphael for love & guidance. I had just finished my prayers about 5 mins before the accident. Truthfully, my biggest fear was specifically getting into an accident with the trailer. Not just because it was my livelihood but because I have tanks of propane & oxygen on the front. I was afraid that if they were hit, they would blow up instantly but they didn’t & this accident was far worse than what was going on in my head. The tanks were barely affected. They moved from impact but I had secured them so well that I was actually much safer than I thought.
This accident has affected me in so many ways, but ultimately it has shown me the true meaning of my self-worth. I’ve been struggling with understanding my worth since I was 16 years old. My first high school relationship laid the groundwork for a lot of unhealthy patterns & coping mechanisms that shadowed me until last year when my relationship at the time completely crumbled under the weight of these self-imposed burdens. I truly thought that I didn’t deserve to be treated well. That I didn’t deserve to have a big adventurous life. That I had to prove I was worthy through my talents, that I had to be perfect to be loved & no matter what I did it was never quite enough. For the last year, I’ve been rebuilding myself emotionally. I’ve faced a lot of my internal demons & loved myself through my mistakes. The trailer was my saving grace because I had something outside of myself to focus on & right when I felt like I had made it through, the accident happened. Now, the last thread has been cut. I am really back at square one & I am learning that even without all of my things, I am enough as is. I don’t need a relationship to feel supported, I don’t need a thriving business to be successful & I don’t need external forces or people to approve of my actions to feel validated as a human. I am enough just as I am.
I have conquered a plethora of fears in the last 365 days. Between my personal & business life, I feel like I’ve gone through almost all of it. The compassion, empathy & awareness that I’ve gained is humbling. I have a new perspective on myself & others. The bullshit I used to care about way too much is gone. Maybe for the first time in a long time, I am finally out of my head & inside my own body. Feeling, processing, & coping in much healthier ways. I am surrendering to the flow of the universe & giving it up to a higher power because there is no point in trying to control what happens outside of myself. I am alive, breathing in this moment. The more I take care of myself, the more illuminated my path will become. I was worth saving that day because my friends on the other side knew that my work was not yet finished. I have been given an opportunity to rebuild stronger, braver, wiser, & way more f*cking resilient than I ever thought possible. Like muscles, when your heart breaks, it grows back bigger & my heart is growing for the woman I am now & the woman I know I will become. Thank you, guardian angel for making me proud to be who I am. I am wild, I am precious, but most of all I am free!
Ways you can help:
➳ Donate to the BB & Roamin Recovery fund by clicking the GoFundMe link here
➳ Donate a service to help assist me in rebuilding my business — email me at buffalobannon@gmail.com or text me at (518)307-9760
➳ Contribute in a small way completely unique to you!
➳ Share this blog, send my GoFundMe link to friends & tell people my story. It takes a village ❤️
➳ Luckily, most of the jewelry in my READY TO SHIP section was preserved during the accident. Please make a purchase & help me grow!
Lastly, THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading my words, hearing my voice & sending me your positive thoughts & prayers. I feel them & I wholeheartedly appreciate your contribution to the restoration of Buffalo Bannon Jewelry Designs. XOXO 🦬🌹✨
